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have you ever eaten ass?
i’m working at the kiosk today and every time a wind breezes through it carries with it the smell of hot dogs. i really want a hot dog.
- me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
- me driving: say your prayers